Sunday, November 05, 2006

I 'm feeling slightly ornery tonight

That happens often when I don't have a chance to take Sunday off. And eventhough we made it to church today, and the lessons were good and my husband got a calling we still ended up having today feel like any other stressed out day because we had to be at a Family memeber's birthday party.

Now, on most weeks this would seem fine, but on most weeks I dont spend the weekend driving all over the state with a moving truck and eating in restuarants with special needs children.

IN other words, I am just plan tired. And it is really hard to start my week when I feel so tired. We all slept from 10pm last night until 8 this morning. This included everyone in the house- even our baby. And the sleep we needed, but my brain has not relaxed. Even on Saturday when I went to the Temple I couldnt get my brain to quiet down and just rejoice in the spirit there. When we go back down to close on our house, I will make sure my husband will come with me so so we can stand in the prayer circle together and then enjoy sitting quietly very close together in the Celestial room.

I just got my kids in thier beds and I am hopping that my brain can now relax, as I have a big week ahead of me for business and family.

Another thing that has been eating my mind - chewing at me just below the consience level until it has broken through is that fact that I want to have my girl baby, but I know my hands are so full that it is not the right time yet. My 4 boys seem to all cling to me and there is no room for another- until they are all a little older. AT the same time I chastise myself for wanting another one when I have been blessed with so much already. But as always, I refuse hormonal birth control and will let Heaven decided when that right time is. But approching 30.....how long can I go with out getting pregnant?

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