Monday, October 19, 2009

When 5 became a small number...

There comes a time every few years that our large group of kids magically feels like such a small group of kids, and I look at them and count them and then go "wow, everyone is here, it feels like we are missing some."

That is the point when I open my heart and mind to another blessing/challenge/responsibility. Children are all three and to not be willing to take another one on would be closing your doors or burning your bridges. I can understand when people make that choice... but I can not. I trust that when it is in the Lord's hands that it will all work out for our ultimate benefit.

I have my own mind and will of what I think I want to do or become in this life, but that view is limited to my 30 plus years here on earth. Do I really want to limit my eternal possibilities by the way I see things now? Shouldn't I trust someone who knows what it will take to make me truly perfect, rather then just good? I mean can someone really know what real birthday cake is without trying mine?

How do I know that I will like his cake better then mine? Because he is the master baker... he created the universe and knew me and assigned me to my mission when the earth was planned. And I can make that cake better by playing the roll he has for me and not the roll I think I want to play. (ie, if I am the leavening, I shouldn't try to be the salt).

“. . . Those, then, who make the sacrifice, will have the testimony that their course is pleasing in the sight of God; and those who have this testimony will have faith to lay hold on eternal life, and will be enabled, through faith, to endure unto the end, and receive the crown that is laid up for them that love the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who do not make the sacrifice cannot enjoy this faith, because men are dependent upon this sacrifice in order to obtain this faith: therefore, they cannot lay hold upon eternal life, because the revelations of God do not guarantee unto them the authority so to do, and without this guarantee faith could not exist” ( Lectures on Faith, 68–70).

What can we sacrifice? We can sacrifice our will. our own wants and dreams in pursuit of those that God has for us. I may think I know what I want to be... but only in offering up this desire unto him and allow him to chart my course can I become who he wants me to me. Maybe it is not a doctor, maybe it is a mom. I can give him my heart, my desire, and know that that he sees something more glorious for me then I see.