Sunday, December 06, 2020

The Love of God

 Look and Behold! What do you see?

A virgin most fair

holding a babe in her arms


Look and Behold the condescension of God

The creator of our world

Born as a babe

chooses to die

that we may live


Look and Behold

the condescension of God

the creator of our world

Born as a babe

Chooses to suffer

that we may be free


Look and Behold

the fruit on that tree

the love of God

sweet above all

who sent His son

that we may live again


Look and Behold

the lights on our tree

reminds us of the sweetest fruit

the sun of God

born as a babe

Hosannah to the Love of God

Hosannah! 

Hosannah!

Sunday, November 15, 2020

#9

 I remember the day  I set my sights on 9 kids. I was taking a Book of Mormon religion class at BYU.  My teacher was just beaming that day. His wife had just given birth to their 9th kid. He said to key to having so many kids was to take it slowly. I have no idea what else he taught that day. But that lesson had always stuck with me.

Between then and now I have often questioned if I wanted, was ready or could handle 9 children. But I didn't have to worry about it. My young kids grew and I replaced my babies every few years as each moved up the ladder. Each time I had another precious newborn in my arms I always felt I had waited for this special spirit to bless our home and our life. I have never had a child  I was not ready for by the time he/she arrived, no matter what challenges life had presented to me in the months leading up to it.

I had 8 kids before my grandmother, who had 8 kids passed away. Then I knew I would surpass her number of children. But I was given some sorely needed time to complete a few things first. I was given the opportunity to earn my black belt in karate and then also to finish my BA and then my Master's in English. The day I sat for the Thesis Defense, I knew I was pregnant again. That little joy whispered in my ear as I was explaining the basis for collecting Family History stories and sealing families together forever, but I knew better than to tell anyone yet, especially not my thesis committee. They could barely absorb the theories I was giving them and were not ready (and had no need to know) that I knew that at that time.

The world had not broke yet. We saw the cracks at the edges as we planned our massive vacation to Florida. After the loss of pregnancy #4, Shannon Prime, caution - or bated breath is held during every pregnancy. That little hold that doesn't allow you to pin all hope in the future on having this baby or this pregnancy turn out. That little bated breath combined with the breakage of the world made the whole pregnancy seem to reside in a surreality- almost on unbelief that all that is happening is real. So when the baby was actually born the last 9 months seemed to have resided in a dream. As I was pushing the baby out, My voice singsonged out. "I'm having a baby!"


A curious thing about having children over 20+ years, parenting the little ones becomes easy and you have time to rejoice in each one's uniqueness. 

ok, more about this later- baby is ready to eat again

Monday, October 26, 2020

Prelude to Power

 Little Girl

A prelude to power

strength in softness

awakening awareness

in all you touch


trusting eyes for Momma

trusting rhythms of breath and movement

wise one

excited to share heavenly secrets

if you could talk


precious gift

choice among others

prelude to power

my beautiful one

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Things I did just this morning seem like a decade ago
That's how time moves, not smoothly but chunky

Sureality clouds the corners on every scene
Until suddenly all you have hoped prayed and worked for are in your arms

The afterpains of that tremendous event will plague you for weeks
Perhaps swear or cry

And your prize is chewing on your nipple

Saturday, September 19, 2020

nigh at hand

 I am a Nephite- my government destroyed and now it is dark

I wait for the light.

I am weary.

My days have been tough.

Hope of the light sustains me.

I have watch prophecies fullfilled.

The time has to be close.


I am a very pregnant mother

My time is close too

I watch for signs and wonders

I feel the contractions

the beginning pains of a new life.

The world and its purposes fade from my view as the time draws nigh

my hips ache and my feet hurt

is all prepped for baby?

And I wait for the confluence of events


I know there will be quakes and noise and cries of pain

burning and pushing


All I want is a nap

or a hot bath

but I push through another day

with a focus set for a time that is nigh at hand

Sunday, September 13, 2020

 I am here to build Zion

hang on

Through challenges of disasters

hang on

Things are being cleansed

hang on

Allowed to build anew

look up

sky is grey

the sky is red

look up

The dawn is breaking blue

Time to build Zion

Anew

Saturday, August 15, 2020

I sew Masks

 At my sewing machine

whirl of the wheel

the needle goes up and down

almost as fast as my mood


I let it distract me

 news of the day

weather, politics

new records reached

new homeless

and hungry


global upset

almost local


skies are clear

after storms of yesterday

my garden reaches the jungle stage

food hiding under leaves after all the rain

 more will come tonight


I sit and sew masks



Sunday, August 09, 2020

Which Hat?

 I was listening to Joy B Jone's April 2020 conference talk while getting ready for church this morning. and her discussion on choosing which hat we are to wear at any one time gave me something to ponder on today. 

Like many people, I have enjoyed not wearing pants most of the summer and some weeks, like the last few of them, (ok, let's be truthful I gave up pants when the weather reached 90). But in general, as my pregnancy has progressed, I personally have done less and less on a daily basis. It goes against my natural rhythm to sit there. However, my hips allow me little else.

 So pondering upon the idea of which hat(s) I should be wearing now, I realized that that hat is growing this baby and staying upright enough to keep my family fed. It's ok that I am not working, writing that great novel, or volunteering around the town.

And then I was pondering that the way Heavenly Father has chosen to send all his spirit children to earth are through mothers, and not only does that mother give her body up for months, but after birth, the baby literally needs 1-1 attention for almost as many more months.

If that isn't that hat (or maybe the crown) of motherhood, then I do not know what is. It is one best worn alone (at least in the early months). 

Upon these thoughts, my restlessness has calmed and I can focus more on preparing emotionally and spiritually for another little spirit to grace our family with her presence.