Faith Like a Little Child

I don't know about you, but when I hear things like "become like a little child to come unto Christ." I cringe.

From my experience with children they are stubborn, impatient, unrelenting, quick to anger, demanding, and unforgiving. I have 7 children. They only kind of angels I would describe them as are the angels of the appolcylse.

Now, that is not completely fair. There are times when they are sweet, cuddly and kind to others.

Today I wish to speak about my 14 year old with autism. He is bright and does the school work for his age group, but socially he much more like a 10 or 8 year old. He still plays with toys and will work for time to play video games.

However, like Nephi he is large of stature and at 6 foot 3, 200 pounds, most people would easily take him for a full fledge adult.

Now Galen, my 14 year old has a way for asking for things with complete faith. I realized that today when he brought me his quilt and showed me it's holes and asked that I fix it. I told him I would do it in a while when my hands weren't so full of babies. So he quietly watched and a few hours later brought the quilt back to me.

There was no question in him that I would do it for him. There was no question about whether I had any interest in sewing right now. He just trusted that I would and acted accordingly. So I went and got the needle, thread and patching material and fixed it. I choose a soft fuzzy material that I thought would enhance rather then detract from the quilt.

 I guess that being a parent makes me enough that our Heavenly Father that upon seeing that faith I was moved into acting and full filling it for him.

I have seen that faith in my children often enough, and seen how it compels us adults to fill their requests. I have seen it work with grandmas and grandpas and on me as a parent.

Now we need to remember that and act accordingly.

Although She is but little, she is Ferious

Truer words were never spoken of my little girls. Do not mess with them unless you are prepared to bring down the powers of heaven upon you.

They kind of make my strong stripling warrior boys seem unfocused and lacking strength and determination. (which of course they have lots of each, just the girls have so much more).

Of course, in the world they are living in, they will need every ounce of their determination, focus and strength to survive the onslot of challenges that are facing their gender.  I don't know if it has every been easy being a girl/woman, but today it is especially not so. It seems that everywhere we turn our very nature is challenged by the establishment that pushes sex, skinniness and medical interventions.

It is easy to see the pitfalls of sex and skinniness (or obsession with food) there are mountains of research and evidence that make it easy to research and learn about, but when one enters in to the medical end of things the research becomes sparse and the actions and advice come from this or that association's best guess of what the little research that is done on any particular topic actually concludes. And naturally, because of the very nature of associations, it is their job to limit what research they will even take conclusions from because it is the best interest of their funding sources.

Yes, I am critical. I have learned to question everything, research everything, draw some tentative conclusions, research again and then feel out the proper course of action for myself/my family.

The main problem I have is when the professionals do not understand that the research is as (if not more) valid as the predrawn conclusions that they were sent by some association when they have not questioned it themselves or studied the issues from several angles. It is also amazing how much of the medical visit is spent with the professional justifying their actions.

It is also very frustrating when they draw a false conclusion from a test, tell you it's bad news, only for you to be able to find a good explanation for it that they say couldn't possibly be, only to be sent to a specialist who draws the same conclusion you did after more testing and lots more time and worry. Seriously? Did we really have to go through all that just to get you to believe the dates were wrong?

If you can not tell, I am having a few issues with my prenatal care provider. So much so, that I may just stay away and listen to my baby girl, just like I listened to my Shannon girl. "Just say NO!" and ignore everybody else's opinions and thoughts about how I should be having a baby. After all, this is my 9th pregnancy, I do have a clue what I am doing, have done it before, know it feels when my body is working well and know how it feels when it doesn't. Spending time arguing about what constitutes evidence-based care and why you can't believe me (even though I have done the research and am inside my own body) is just not constructive to my well being.

This means something to me today

Isaiah 8:18
Behold, I and the children The Lord has given me are for signs and wonders in Israel from The Lord of hosts, which dwelleth in mount Zion.

Ps- happy Mother's Day!

Sent from my iPhone

Everything I needed to know I learned in Nursery

In our church we don't wait until kindergarten to teach what we need to know in life...
I am a child a God.
Heavenly Father has a plan for me.
I can pray to Heavenly Father.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me.
Jesus Christ showed us how to love others.
The Holy Ghost helps me.
Jesus Christ Created the world for me.
Sunday is a day to remember Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I have a body like Heavenly Father's.
I will take care of my body.
I love my family.
I can pray with my family.
My family can be together forever.
I will obey.
I will be thankful.
I will say "I'm sorry."
I will share.
I will live others.
I can be happy.
I will be reverent.
Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
The Book of Mormon teaches me about Jesus Christ.
I love the scriptures.
I will follow the prophet.
I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I will be baptized and confirmed.
The sacrament helps me think about Jesus Christ.
Heavenly Father blesses me through the priesthood.
Jesus Christ was resurrected.
Jesus Christ is the son of Heavenly Father.

I wish every child ( person)could know these things.

Sent from my iPhone

Praise be to God Almighty! who works according to our faith, and patience in his plan.
After coming to terms with what ever will be.... and hoping, praying and acting for the best.

Hoping and praying are obvious, but I also acted. While researching about microcephaly, I discovered that baby head growth depends (usually) on baby brain growth, and that the DHA is a vital element to baby brain growth. I had often assumed it had to do with fats, but mostly had assumed it was cholesterol to help build baby brain's, but being mostly vegan this pregnancy that was hard to get, luckily DHA is not. I ordered a supplement of DHA (and a vegan prenatal vitamin, Dr, Furhman's), and started eating large amounts of ground flax seed and walnuts, figuring that if I flood my blood with the nutrients that are needed to build baby brains, then at least I had done what I could do to help her, even if her umbilical cord was compromised.

So, Tuesday was the big unveiling, the level 2 ultrasound, that we drove 2 hours for. It really impressed me how awesome and open the ultrasound tech was that she always told everything she saw when she saw it. The baby looked great, head was now only 1/2 week behind the body (normal enough not to worry)(and everything was clearly visible, unlike the last ultrasound). The issue with the cord was not at an insertion into the baby and had no impact on the blood flow (it was great).  But the cord had a ball of watson's jelly (the stuff the lines the cord) hanging off it near the middle of the cord. This is not an issue, just kinda funny- like she is playing tether ball.

Baby also enjoyed kicking the ultrasound probe and sending the pictures awry on several occasions. After a 40 minute wait, the Doctor showed up and says it all looks great to her, but we will do another size check in 5-6 weeks to make sure everything is growing appropriately. She also said that according to the size of the baby, specifically the cerebellum (which is a very consistent measure of age in fetus's) and the dates I gave her on pregnancy tests and stuff that we were probably 2 weeks behind the given due date, so now we are running more like mid August., which is what I guessed from the last ultrasound. I am glad somebody actually agreed with me, and didn't argue that it didn't matter. (It definitely matters to the mother).

So anyways, we are much happier with this ultrasound and seeing for ourselves how well she seems to be doing and growing, and if my appetite is any indication, then she is growing very well.

Brighter Spirits

I spend about 2 weeks a little while ago hanging around the Mayo Clinic. One of the days, I started noticing the people with special needs. Now, when I am at the Mayo (happens 1-2x/year for one of my own children) I like to play the game of guess who the patient is and guess who their escort is. I had an elderly couple sit at a table next to mine at lunch one day. I wasn't quite sure which one was which until they got up up leave and she was in a wheel chair. But some, like those with downs syndrome or other neuro/muscle issues are more obvious.

But I remember noticing last time I was in Rochester, just how many people there were that had obvious special needs and how the more brighter their spirit shined. Great spirits given a less then perfect body for reasons of growth and protection.

Then I remembered Galen, and how mild his autism is, and yet how bright his spirit is (when you can see through to it.) And then I remembered seeing my Arwen and how bright her spirit shines. It makes me wonder.

So after spending a day fretting and fussing over possibilities, I had a dream yesterday morning. I dreamed that I was in a hospital, it was very over crowded due to some incidence, I heard a lady call out for help. She was in labor and no one was available to help her. Well, I am not afraid of birth, so I came in and helped catch her baby. The first thing she said to me was "Do you want my baby?" She was obviously concerned that she couldn't take care of him. Naturally, I said "sure."

I helped her deliver her baby. It was a fairly easy birth and the child came out with obvious Down's Syndrome with a few other additional deformities (like many toes). But he was beautiful none the less. The nursing staff finally came in, and his deformities were of no surprise to them, but he was healthy, and when I came to take him home, his mother followed me and made sure that he was well settled. When she bid good bye to him for the finally time, this week old baby gave her the biggest smile, with the brightest eyes.

That's when I woke up.

I was immediately grateful for the dream. There is nothing to fear in a special baby, only the fear of the unknown and the terrible waiting period to find out what you may actually be dealing with (if anything). And as we know, the unknown is actually nothing to fear, it is something to be faced with faith and fortitude and gratefulness that we know who these spirits are, and that they are a bigger blessing then we could have imagined.

Arwen

It's a girl, a very special girl, in fact we are headed down to a level 2 ultrasound and a meeting with a geneticist some time soon. There were 2 problems detected on the regular ultrasound that we need a better look at and a specialized opinions about. One of them is a small head, the other is an umbilical cord that is giving unusual ultrasound echoes. At this point neither of those means anything definite. Except that it deserves a closer look.

I cried and researched for a day or so, concerned about it- imagining possible senerios, not knowing what the real issues will end up being.

But, no matter what, I know she is beautiful and had the same profile as her siblings. And I know The Lord has a plan for her.

Coming to peace, accepting the unknown for my baby is hard, but well worth the investment now, because it will be all right and we will find a way to handle whatever is given to us.

Meanwhile, I can continue to live and smile.

Sent from my iPhone