My mother said something interesting the other day. She said that the "dramatic event" of the night before really helped put it in perspective for her of what we go through. I said "What dramatic event? I don't remember anything special."
She was talking about something I just chalked up as normal issues around here. Ian had been on the potty with his enema, he had got off and said he was all pooped out. Then he went upstairs to play and a little while later his poopy smell came wafting down the stairs- pretty strongly. So I went to investigate and Ian was not all pooped out when he left the toilet. He ended up pooping out all over his bedroom, hallway and the upstairs bathroom (the areas just scrubbed clean earlier that day).
He was hiding beneath his covers and so I pulled the covers off of him and told him he was in charge of cleaning it all up. I brought him a roll of paper towel (we only use disposable towels when the job is really bad) the spray cleaner and a plastic bag to put the garbage in.
Surprisingly Ian actually did his best to clean it all up- (and after he was asleep I finished the job well it was still easy to clean, rather then waiting for the poop to dry into a stone hard finish).
It was after this that Mom jumped on IM and asked how my day was going. I told her "Stinky" and then had to relate why.
The interesting thing about the whole incident is that it was just another day around here. We are always dealing with poop, pee and some sort of need for a band-aid. That being said, we are working on getting some PCAs to help with our special children. Most of the time their just feels like there is not enough hands on deck to handle the ship and the sea monsters too.
The sea monsters- by the way- are the kind that throw snot balls that stick to the walls and ceilings and reach their long tentacles in delight of tripping the unsuspecting and then use their suckers and cling to you as you are attempting to do a delicate operation- like using a sharp needle to mend the holes in a blanket, pair of pants or favorite toy.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
musings
Now that I am sick with the infamous pneumonia, and have felt it's breath sucking power, hacked my way miserably hour by hour waiting until something would change. I have begun to feel real empathy on those on have ended their lives with diseases such as this.
There was a story that my grandfather died, after drinking away his savings- alone on the streets of pneumonia. And i have wondered did he fight to the end? or did he embrace it welcomingly?- while his body struggled through coughs to gain another breath? Or did his fight for every breath make him drink himself death? Because at least when you are drunk enough you don't feel that pain that rackels through your body as your body spasms and kicks and inhales and coughs in attempt to get enough air to keep functioning. And when you are drunk enough you probably don't care that you have sealed the warrant of your own demise.
I think that probably the pain of having nobody there to care for you would be worse then that of disease it's self, worse then the struggle for breath, worse then knowing that your mortal probation is up.
His alcoholism drove him away from his family and friends- when he was sober we all welcomed him, have great memories of him and great stories of his courage and love, but as a drunk no one was fool enough to hang around too long. And that drove him to be alone- drinking in bars and alleys as he hacked away his last breaths.
Sometimes I wish I would have known the man that was inside- the man he could have been. Maybe I will still get that chance.
There was a story that my grandfather died, after drinking away his savings- alone on the streets of pneumonia. And i have wondered did he fight to the end? or did he embrace it welcomingly?- while his body struggled through coughs to gain another breath? Or did his fight for every breath make him drink himself death? Because at least when you are drunk enough you don't feel that pain that rackels through your body as your body spasms and kicks and inhales and coughs in attempt to get enough air to keep functioning. And when you are drunk enough you probably don't care that you have sealed the warrant of your own demise.
I think that probably the pain of having nobody there to care for you would be worse then that of disease it's self, worse then the struggle for breath, worse then knowing that your mortal probation is up.
His alcoholism drove him away from his family and friends- when he was sober we all welcomed him, have great memories of him and great stories of his courage and love, but as a drunk no one was fool enough to hang around too long. And that drove him to be alone- drinking in bars and alleys as he hacked away his last breaths.
Sometimes I wish I would have known the man that was inside- the man he could have been. Maybe I will still get that chance.
Monday, October 19, 2009
When 5 became a small number...
There comes a time every few years that our large group of kids magically feels like such a small group of kids, and I look at them and count them and then go "wow, everyone is here, it feels like we are missing some."
That is the point when I open my heart and mind to another blessing/challenge/responsibility. Children are all three and to not be willing to take another one on would be closing your doors or burning your bridges. I can understand when people make that choice... but I can not. I trust that when it is in the Lord's hands that it will all work out for our ultimate benefit.
I have my own mind and will of what I think I want to do or become in this life, but that view is limited to my 30 plus years here on earth. Do I really want to limit my eternal possibilities by the way I see things now? Shouldn't I trust someone who knows what it will take to make me truly perfect, rather then just good? I mean can someone really know what real birthday cake is without trying mine?
How do I know that I will like his cake better then mine? Because he is the master baker... he created the universe and knew me and assigned me to my mission when the earth was planned. And I can make that cake better by playing the roll he has for me and not the roll I think I want to play. (ie, if I am the leavening, I shouldn't try to be the salt).
“. . . Those, then, who make the sacrifice, will have the testimony that their course is pleasing in the sight of God; and those who have this testimony will have faith to lay hold on eternal life, and will be enabled, through faith, to endure unto the end, and receive the crown that is laid up for them that love the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who do not make the sacrifice cannot enjoy this faith, because men are dependent upon this sacrifice in order to obtain this faith: therefore, they cannot lay hold upon eternal life, because the revelations of God do not guarantee unto them the authority so to do, and without this guarantee faith could not exist” ( Lectures on Faith, 68–70).
What can we sacrifice? We can sacrifice our will. our own wants and dreams in pursuit of those that God has for us. I may think I know what I want to be... but only in offering up this desire unto him and allow him to chart my course can I become who he wants me to me. Maybe it is not a doctor, maybe it is a mom. I can give him my heart, my desire, and know that that he sees something more glorious for me then I see.
That is the point when I open my heart and mind to another blessing/challenge/responsibility. Children are all three and to not be willing to take another one on would be closing your doors or burning your bridges. I can understand when people make that choice... but I can not. I trust that when it is in the Lord's hands that it will all work out for our ultimate benefit.
I have my own mind and will of what I think I want to do or become in this life, but that view is limited to my 30 plus years here on earth. Do I really want to limit my eternal possibilities by the way I see things now? Shouldn't I trust someone who knows what it will take to make me truly perfect, rather then just good? I mean can someone really know what real birthday cake is without trying mine?
How do I know that I will like his cake better then mine? Because he is the master baker... he created the universe and knew me and assigned me to my mission when the earth was planned. And I can make that cake better by playing the roll he has for me and not the roll I think I want to play. (ie, if I am the leavening, I shouldn't try to be the salt).
“. . . Those, then, who make the sacrifice, will have the testimony that their course is pleasing in the sight of God; and those who have this testimony will have faith to lay hold on eternal life, and will be enabled, through faith, to endure unto the end, and receive the crown that is laid up for them that love the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who do not make the sacrifice cannot enjoy this faith, because men are dependent upon this sacrifice in order to obtain this faith: therefore, they cannot lay hold upon eternal life, because the revelations of God do not guarantee unto them the authority so to do, and without this guarantee faith could not exist” ( Lectures on Faith, 68–70).
What can we sacrifice? We can sacrifice our will. our own wants and dreams in pursuit of those that God has for us. I may think I know what I want to be... but only in offering up this desire unto him and allow him to chart my course can I become who he wants me to me. Maybe it is not a doctor, maybe it is a mom. I can give him my heart, my desire, and know that that he sees something more glorious for me then I see.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wonderful treasie on Hope
"My own thinking is that “hope” is a cheap emotion unless it causes you to break a sweat - I’m only interested in hope when it inspires us to work. But, of course, that’s the value of hope - not as a balm to our souls, but to the calluses on our palms."
http://sharonastyk.com/2009/09/17/in-the-space-of-the-days-of-awe/
http://sharonastyk.com/2009/09/17/in-the-space-of-the-days-of-awe/
Friday, August 21, 2009
Those who fight death the most are often those who have no faith/knowledge in what is coming next.
My dear sweet aunt is losing her battle with cancer, yet no one will admit it. It is a game of silence they are playing. Maybe if we don't speak of it, it won't happen. Maybe if we don't plan for it or even acknowledge it out loud it will not happen. And yet it has been obvious and heart wrenching to those that are watching. Everyone knows inside them that it is time to move on.
I can not blame them for not wanting to give her up. She is an awe inspiring person. But I do wish they would accept the will of the Lord and plan accordingly.
2 Ne. 9: 6, 10-12, 19
6 For as death hath passed upon all men, to fulfil the merciful plan of the great Creator, there must needs be a power of resurrection, and the resurrection must needs come unto man by reason of the fall; and the fall came by reason of transgression; and because man became fallen they were cut off from the presence of the Lord.
• • •
10 O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.
11 And because of the way of deliverance of our God, the Holy One of Israel, this death, of which I have spoken, which is the temporal, shall deliver up its dead; which death is the grave.
12 And this death of which I have spoken, which is the spiritual death, shall deliver up its dead; which spiritual death is hell; wherefore, death and hell must deliver up their dead, and hell must deliver up its captive spirits, and the grave must deliver up its captive bodies, and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel.
Alma 40: 11-14
11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.
12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.
#
Mosiah 16: 7-9
7 And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
8 But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
9 He is the alight and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.
36 Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.
I wanted to paste these in her guestbook- but that would violate those unwritten laws. So what could I say, if not the comforts in my heart? I shared a memory or two.
My dear sweet aunt is losing her battle with cancer, yet no one will admit it. It is a game of silence they are playing. Maybe if we don't speak of it, it won't happen. Maybe if we don't plan for it or even acknowledge it out loud it will not happen. And yet it has been obvious and heart wrenching to those that are watching. Everyone knows inside them that it is time to move on.
I can not blame them for not wanting to give her up. She is an awe inspiring person. But I do wish they would accept the will of the Lord and plan accordingly.
2 Ne. 9: 6, 10-12, 19
6 For as death hath passed upon all men, to fulfil the merciful plan of the great Creator, there must needs be a power of resurrection, and the resurrection must needs come unto man by reason of the fall; and the fall came by reason of transgression; and because man became fallen they were cut off from the presence of the Lord.
• • •
10 O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.
11 And because of the way of deliverance of our God, the Holy One of Israel, this death, of which I have spoken, which is the temporal, shall deliver up its dead; which death is the grave.
12 And this death of which I have spoken, which is the spiritual death, shall deliver up its dead; which spiritual death is hell; wherefore, death and hell must deliver up their dead, and hell must deliver up its captive spirits, and the grave must deliver up its captive bodies, and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel.
Alma 40: 11-14
11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.
12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.
#
Mosiah 16: 7-9
7 And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
8 But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
9 He is the alight and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.
36 Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.
I wanted to paste these in her guestbook- but that would violate those unwritten laws. So what could I say, if not the comforts in my heart? I shared a memory or two.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
cutting off my right hand
I am Preparing to cut off my internet service. In many ways the internet is my eyes, ears and mouth to the larger world. We get our news, family communications and all sorts of banking stuff on line. That won't stop. It will just be slower. I will still have my I- phone, and be able to access the internet and print things at my parent's house.
Doing so will force me away from the computer. I will most likely have a cleaner house and be buying less stuff to put in it. I will also have a much harder time communication with customers and selling items on my website or ebay. I also will not have instant information on all things at my fingertips at all times. That will be hard to adjust to.
Doing so will force me away from the computer. I will most likely have a cleaner house and be buying less stuff to put in it. I will also have a much harder time communication with customers and selling items on my website or ebay. I also will not have instant information on all things at my fingertips at all times. That will be hard to adjust to.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Disscussion on birth
Birth is a mountain of personal achievement. It is a mountain that once you get to the top you realize you just climbed the first foot hill to the real mountain of parenthood.
Does it matter how you climb that foot hill? It can have an impact on the health of your body, your child (autism has been possible linked to some western medical birthing procedures)... not as much as the fact that you wanted to and that you landed there to continue the climb up that real mountain.
My first birth profoundly affected every fiber of my body- lots of it through hormones designed to help us achieve birth and then nurture the baby so our genetic material passes on.
Many of these same hormones attend to us while we nurse and raise the child. And these same hormones also allows us to create a long term relationship with spouse and friends.
We feel these hormones surge within us when we spy our child doing something cute, or when they snuggle close to our breast. We feel these hormones at work when our husband brings us a gift or does the dishes. These hormones keep us chemically addicted to the baby or to our spouse.
You can build this hormone connection up with others by serving them, caring for them, and by finding gratitude in what they do for you. That means that we can build this bond with just about anybody we choose. We can build it with our spouse and make our marriage stronger, we can build it with our kids (although that comes so naturally to most mothers)we can build with our co-workers, our neighbors or kids we are adopting. And pretty soon we'll find out that service = love.
Does it matter how you climb that foot hill? It can have an impact on the health of your body, your child (autism has been possible linked to some western medical birthing procedures)... not as much as the fact that you wanted to and that you landed there to continue the climb up that real mountain.
My first birth profoundly affected every fiber of my body- lots of it through hormones designed to help us achieve birth and then nurture the baby so our genetic material passes on.
Many of these same hormones attend to us while we nurse and raise the child. And these same hormones also allows us to create a long term relationship with spouse and friends.
We feel these hormones surge within us when we spy our child doing something cute, or when they snuggle close to our breast. We feel these hormones at work when our husband brings us a gift or does the dishes. These hormones keep us chemically addicted to the baby or to our spouse.
You can build this hormone connection up with others by serving them, caring for them, and by finding gratitude in what they do for you. That means that we can build this bond with just about anybody we choose. We can build it with our spouse and make our marriage stronger, we can build it with our kids (although that comes so naturally to most mothers)we can build with our co-workers, our neighbors or kids we are adopting. And pretty soon we'll find out that service = love.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A willingness to do without
A story that appeared a number of years ago in the Amish publication _Family Life_ told of a busload of tourisst who visited an Amish farmer. The group consisted of people from many religious denominations. One of them said, “We already know all about Jesus Christ, but what does it mean to be Amish?” The Amish fellow thought for a minute and then asked for a show of hands for how many in the tour group had televisions. Every hand went up. Then he asked how many thought that maybe having a television contributed to a lot of social and spiritual problems in society. Again, every hand went up. In light of this, he asked, how many would be willing to give up having television? This time, no hands went up. He went on to explain that this was the essence of being Amish: a willingness to do without something if that thing is not good for them spiritually.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Prayers on the wind
There are dark clouds rolling in- but no warnings,some thunder. I would love a good thunderstorm. We almost had one on Thursday. They (noaa) warned us that it could bring quarter size hail- so Mike and I put the cars in the big building. I gave instructions to Galen to stay away from windows if the winds started to blow. So he took Shannon and the younger sibs and prayed with them that they would be safe from the storm. He let us know that we would be safe from the storms because he had prayed for it. So all we got was rain.- The strong stuff completely by passed us. I felt a little let down ( I wanted a good storm) but I wasn't going to go against the prayers of a child.
When children pray- they do it with such faith, that I can not help but to help the petition be fulfilled.
When children pray- they do it with such faith, that I can not help but to help the petition be fulfilled.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
His work and glory
Sometimes I wonder about him. My tall, but awkward, 10 year son is playing baseball this year. He wanted to sign up for the team, and one of the coaches, who's wife working with him in school one year, actually requested him on his team. He refuses even to try on the baseball pants. He is the only kid out there with khakis under the team jersey. In fact, when they stand straight and in formation to hit the ball, my Galen stands slumped. When they run bases as a group, Galen lags behind by about 2. He refuses to wear baseball or tennis shoes and plays the games in worn out dress shoes. A coach from another town had tagged him as "an easy out." I was furious at the time. Could he not see how special he is? Galen sometimes sits down in right field. He sometimes outright misses a ball aimed straight at him. I am sure beyond any measure of a doubt that he won't make it to college on a baseball scholarship.
But today I came to realize the abilities he does have. He is not here to catch the ball and win the game. He is not here to bat strong and beautiful. He is here to bring about the works of the Lord. Most children get maybe a cheer from their parents when they make a good play. But when Galen gets up to bat, even though he usually swings too early and misses the ball, he is the only child that garners cheers from the parents on both teams. His innocence and happy demeanor rallies them together. He does something to the hearts of those he is near. He is an opportunity to serve and love unconditionally. He is an excuse, that we as human beings, need to be truly human in our outlook and actions.
He brings joy to those who reach out to him. His team has won every game this year (for 1/2 the season so far). I wondered at first if his team mates would think of him as burden, but they have been the sweetest boys to my Galen. The coach and the parents have been very sweet to him too. I think he has made the team something more then sports. I think he makes everything he participates in something more, something better.
It is often exasperating to get Galen to learn new skills. Simple things like tying his shoes or flushing the toilet takes many hours and reminders to teach. Most autistic children do not ever learn to ride a bike, none the less learn to participate in sports with new rules, new schedules and a uniform. But there is a way, when the universe deems the time is right, that these things magically come to pass. When Galen was potty trained it happened in one day, same with riding his bike. Sometimes I wonder what will be the next skill he will magically pick up one night, but tonight I am happy with knowing that other people take joy in cheering on his efforts. He may not come in first, or even third, but when he comes in people will cheer him like he just broke the record.
People amaze me in their capacity to do good. People amaze me in their ability to reach out and befriend, but in our day and age we have been taught to be cautious and careful by portrayals and reports of violence in our media. The way around our caution is the innocent smile of an awkward autistic ten year old.
Sometimes I wonder about him. I wonder if he will go to college, find a wife, become a functioning member of society. I wonder about these things until I see the what he already does for us. He has a function in society. It may not make money, but he allows us to be human.
But today I came to realize the abilities he does have. He is not here to catch the ball and win the game. He is not here to bat strong and beautiful. He is here to bring about the works of the Lord. Most children get maybe a cheer from their parents when they make a good play. But when Galen gets up to bat, even though he usually swings too early and misses the ball, he is the only child that garners cheers from the parents on both teams. His innocence and happy demeanor rallies them together. He does something to the hearts of those he is near. He is an opportunity to serve and love unconditionally. He is an excuse, that we as human beings, need to be truly human in our outlook and actions.
He brings joy to those who reach out to him. His team has won every game this year (for 1/2 the season so far). I wondered at first if his team mates would think of him as burden, but they have been the sweetest boys to my Galen. The coach and the parents have been very sweet to him too. I think he has made the team something more then sports. I think he makes everything he participates in something more, something better.
It is often exasperating to get Galen to learn new skills. Simple things like tying his shoes or flushing the toilet takes many hours and reminders to teach. Most autistic children do not ever learn to ride a bike, none the less learn to participate in sports with new rules, new schedules and a uniform. But there is a way, when the universe deems the time is right, that these things magically come to pass. When Galen was potty trained it happened in one day, same with riding his bike. Sometimes I wonder what will be the next skill he will magically pick up one night, but tonight I am happy with knowing that other people take joy in cheering on his efforts. He may not come in first, or even third, but when he comes in people will cheer him like he just broke the record.
People amaze me in their capacity to do good. People amaze me in their ability to reach out and befriend, but in our day and age we have been taught to be cautious and careful by portrayals and reports of violence in our media. The way around our caution is the innocent smile of an awkward autistic ten year old.
Sometimes I wonder about him. I wonder if he will go to college, find a wife, become a functioning member of society. I wonder about these things until I see the what he already does for us. He has a function in society. It may not make money, but he allows us to be human.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Behind the veil
Sometimes I dream of what I see when the veil of autism is removed from your eyes.
Behind the veil I see strength and wisdom.
Behind the veil I see a God to be.
Behind the veil I see experience of the life before now,
Something great accomplished….
Something that must be hidden for safety and trial.
Behind the veil I see everything I had ever dreamed of my son to be.
Only more…. Deeper… more eternal
Behind the veil you are hidden.
But you will not stay.
Behind the veil you want to talk to me
To love me, as I love you.
Behind the veil you have made me proud
More then your accomplishments in learning to talk
Or ride bike
Or even tie your shoes.
Behind your veil you serve God
Behind your veil you stay innocent
Behind your veil you reach us in ways no others can.
Behind the veil you are for a purpose in mortality.
Someday the veil will be removed from our eyes to see you as you really are.
I see you shining. You are so bright.
So they wrapped you for life. A gift of simplest joys.
But when the wrapping comes off and your light will be seen…. I will not be blinded by it, for I have seen it, as I peered beyond your veil.
Behind the veil I see strength and wisdom.
Behind the veil I see a God to be.
Behind the veil I see experience of the life before now,
Something great accomplished….
Something that must be hidden for safety and trial.
Behind the veil I see everything I had ever dreamed of my son to be.
Only more…. Deeper… more eternal
Behind the veil you are hidden.
But you will not stay.
Behind the veil you want to talk to me
To love me, as I love you.
Behind the veil you have made me proud
More then your accomplishments in learning to talk
Or ride bike
Or even tie your shoes.
Behind your veil you serve God
Behind your veil you stay innocent
Behind your veil you reach us in ways no others can.
Behind the veil you are for a purpose in mortality.
Someday the veil will be removed from our eyes to see you as you really are.
I see you shining. You are so bright.
So they wrapped you for life. A gift of simplest joys.
But when the wrapping comes off and your light will be seen…. I will not be blinded by it, for I have seen it, as I peered beyond your veil.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
A new Earth
Ready for a few insights?
I was reading about growing your own wheat and legumes... and then suddenly realized that we have those seeds in our food storage- the classic year's supply gives you the ingredients to plant and harvest the basics of life- even the dry milk- when wrapped in a tissue and placed in a sealed container (with seeds or something) will act as a moisture absorber.
And then I was thinking about how society has built itself on the wrong infrastructure to be sustainable and resilient.... (in economic terms and physical terms) and then connected that to the promised and prophesied destruction to happen just before the second coming- allowing us as a people a "clean slate" to build a new society on- where we won't be encumbered by the old.
If the collapse of our civilization happens quickly- by help of hand of God, then knowledge the technological knowledge will remain available to be used in the new society and infrastructure.
If God does not step in.... then our society would be likely to collapse too far and the technological knowledge would largely be lost.
I was reading about growing your own wheat and legumes... and then suddenly realized that we have those seeds in our food storage- the classic year's supply gives you the ingredients to plant and harvest the basics of life- even the dry milk- when wrapped in a tissue and placed in a sealed container (with seeds or something) will act as a moisture absorber.
And then I was thinking about how society has built itself on the wrong infrastructure to be sustainable and resilient.... (in economic terms and physical terms) and then connected that to the promised and prophesied destruction to happen just before the second coming- allowing us as a people a "clean slate" to build a new society on- where we won't be encumbered by the old.
If the collapse of our civilization happens quickly- by help of hand of God, then knowledge the technological knowledge will remain available to be used in the new society and infrastructure.
If God does not step in.... then our society would be likely to collapse too far and the technological knowledge would largely be lost.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
The unaccounted for Power
There is eternal power and influence in Motherhood- one unlike any hierarchical authority can wield. We as mothers have the power that is so misunderstood. Every word I say to my child can have long term impacts, every look and sigh and change their perspective on the world. I know this, and so I try very hard to use to the their (my children's) long term advantage.
And I find, that as a mother, I am left at home with the children, while the men folk go make an economic impact, or that I am nursing the baby on the sideline watching the men shovel sandbags, or that I am left in the nursery, when the priesthood assemble.
Many women see or feel this- they then assume the reason for it wrongly. It is not that I am less important or do not have useful or inspiring things to say- in fact it is precisely the opposite. It is because I have the inspiring things to say that I am called to cuddle the baby, or that I am handling children. In my hands is the future of our world. The day to day is left to the men.
And I find, that as a mother, I am left at home with the children, while the men folk go make an economic impact, or that I am nursing the baby on the sideline watching the men shovel sandbags, or that I am left in the nursery, when the priesthood assemble.
Many women see or feel this- they then assume the reason for it wrongly. It is not that I am less important or do not have useful or inspiring things to say- in fact it is precisely the opposite. It is because I have the inspiring things to say that I am called to cuddle the baby, or that I am handling children. In my hands is the future of our world. The day to day is left to the men.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
To change the world...
I have really been enjoying my midwifery studies- more in the lines of women's studies seen through the profession of women. And then I saw how it interrelated with where women are today and then just happened to bump into the concept of "Mormon women's history". The concept sounds intriguing, but I have yet to find anything on the topic I didn't already know.
Like I already knew Utah was the first place in America where women had the right to vote and some about Eliza R Snow and her stance as "mormon prophetess".
But what surprises me is how it brings me back again to where we are. Where are we as women? We have been taught (as mormons) that the highest calling (challenge) in life is to nurture and strengthen our children- indeed we are not even allowed to volunteer at the Temples if we have children at home.
And I sit from an interesting view point here- I have closed my business- for the soul purpose of doing a better job on the strengthening and nurturing my children. My children needed more physical and emotional attention then I was able to give them and the business.
But what is interesting is that I am full of personal energy- I can change things, I can move things, I can think and act for myself- I can take over the world- be president of the USA- own a large corporation that can help bring about the perfect society through its actions(or any other goals you may have in mind), but for some reason those 5 little spirits entrusted into my hands place all those care and considerations on the back burner.
And even when I analyze possibilities of making different choices (or the sci-fi favorite of cloning myself to lead several different lives at once) I realize that I would make the same choice over and over and over again.
All my talents, all my love, all my time and energy goes in to growing these little spirits into something that is far bigger then myself. And somehow this self-sacrifice is one of the ultimate aims of full-filled womanhood.
Shaping and molding 5 individuals to take on the world- to change the world.
Like I already knew Utah was the first place in America where women had the right to vote and some about Eliza R Snow and her stance as "mormon prophetess".
But what surprises me is how it brings me back again to where we are. Where are we as women? We have been taught (as mormons) that the highest calling (challenge) in life is to nurture and strengthen our children- indeed we are not even allowed to volunteer at the Temples if we have children at home.
And I sit from an interesting view point here- I have closed my business- for the soul purpose of doing a better job on the strengthening and nurturing my children. My children needed more physical and emotional attention then I was able to give them and the business.
But what is interesting is that I am full of personal energy- I can change things, I can move things, I can think and act for myself- I can take over the world- be president of the USA- own a large corporation that can help bring about the perfect society through its actions(or any other goals you may have in mind), but for some reason those 5 little spirits entrusted into my hands place all those care and considerations on the back burner.
And even when I analyze possibilities of making different choices (or the sci-fi favorite of cloning myself to lead several different lives at once) I realize that I would make the same choice over and over and over again.
All my talents, all my love, all my time and energy goes in to growing these little spirits into something that is far bigger then myself. And somehow this self-sacrifice is one of the ultimate aims of full-filled womanhood.
Shaping and molding 5 individuals to take on the world- to change the world.
Friday, January 02, 2009
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