#9

 I remember the day  I set my sights on 9 kids. I was taking a Book of Mormon religion class at BYU.  My teacher was just beaming that day. His wife had just given birth to their 9th kid. He said to key to having so many kids was to take it slowly. I have no idea what else he taught that day. But that lesson had always stuck with me.

Between then and now I have often questioned if I wanted, was ready or could handle 9 children. But I didn't have to worry about it. My young kids grew and I replaced my babies every few years as each moved up the ladder. Each time I had another precious newborn in my arms I always felt I had waited for this special spirit to bless our home and our life. I have never had a child  I was not ready for by the time he/she arrived, no matter what challenges life had presented to me in the months leading up to it.

I had 8 kids before my grandmother, who had 8 kids passed away. Then I knew I would surpass her number of children. But I was given some sorely needed time to complete a few things first. I was given the opportunity to earn my black belt in karate and then also to finish my BA and then my Master's in English. The day I sat for the Thesis Defense, I knew I was pregnant again. That little joy whispered in my ear as I was explaining the basis for collecting Family History stories and sealing families together forever, but I knew better than to tell anyone yet, especially not my thesis committee. They could barely absorb the theories I was giving them and were not ready (and had no need to know) that I knew that at that time.

The world had not broke yet. We saw the cracks at the edges as we planned our massive vacation to Florida. After the loss of pregnancy #4, Shannon Prime, caution - or bated breath is held during every pregnancy. That little hold that doesn't allow you to pin all hope in the future on having this baby or this pregnancy turn out. That little bated breath combined with the breakage of the world made the whole pregnancy seem to reside in a surreality- almost on unbelief that all that is happening is real. So when the baby was actually born the last 9 months seemed to have resided in a dream. As I was pushing the baby out, My voice singsonged out. "I'm having a baby!"

A curious thing about having children over 20+ years, parenting the little ones becomes easy and you have time to rejoice in each one's uniqueness. 

ok, more about this later- baby is ready to eat again