Sunday, August 09, 2020

Which Hat?

 I was listening to Joy B Jone's April 2020 conference talk while getting ready for church this morning. and her discussion on choosing which hat we are to wear at any one time gave me something to ponder on today. 

Like many people, I have enjoyed not wearing pants most of the summer and some weeks, like the last few of them, (ok, let's be truthful I gave up pants when the weather reached 90). But in general, as my pregnancy has progressed, I personally have done less and less on a daily basis. It goes against my natural rhythm to sit there. However, my hips allow me little else.

 So pondering upon the idea of which hat(s) I should be wearing now, I realized that that hat is growing this baby and staying upright enough to keep my family fed. It's ok that I am not working, writing that great novel, or volunteering around the town.

And then I was pondering that the way Heavenly Father has chosen to send all his spirit children to earth are through mothers, and not only does that mother give her body up for months, but after birth, the baby literally needs 1-1 attention for almost as many more months.

If that isn't that hat (or maybe the crown) of motherhood, then I do not know what is. It is one best worn alone (at least in the early months). 

Upon these thoughts, my restlessness has calmed and I can focus more on preparing emotionally and spiritually for another little spirit to grace our family with her presence.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Hebrew 10:31

I fall into His hands

but I am not afraid
He has succored me
nurtured me
led me carefully
let me explore this world

I fall into His hands
He has caught me
brought me to His bosom
holds me safe

My heart stays with him
my heat and mind
to do His will
during my time here

He will catch me should I fall
I fall into His hands

every day
I fall

Saturday, November 02, 2019

Last post- now in poem form

Holiness to the Lord

people made holy

arrayed on white
all sizes
all shapes
all colors
all ages

Holiness of Covenant Keepers

soft smiles
kind eyes
gentle voices

Holiness in Life

seeking peace
comfort
service
love
connection
recommitment

A break- calm in the storm

fortifying, strengthening
being renewed to walk through

rain, hail, flood, wind, and fire

bringing back others
gathering them to the safety of the fold

to become Israel
the covenant people of the Lord
to build Zion



Put on thy beautiful Garments

Yesterday, I took my GRE- a big standard graduate entrance school test. I ended up running late due to road destruction. It had all the typical failings of standardized tests including poor wording, unclear questions, and sentences constructed by monkeys. But for 4 hours it kept me busy. Afterward, my phone beeped reminding me that I forgot to turn in questions for my comp exam that is coming up next weekend. I emailed the teacher anyway and sent her the real questions, about midnight when I got home.

By then I had just enough time to have a sub and make it to the temple. The second I walked in I felt like I was home. I belonged there. Nothing else mattered. I am a beloved child of my heavenly parents and my worth is not changed by scores on multiple guess tests.

During the course of my time there I was able to watch beautiful people- covenant people, move and interact and smile. There is something about making and keeping those covenants that makes your beauty shine. That is how you stand up, dust the world off you and put on your beautiful garments, o daughters and sons of Zion.

I was safe there- not just about being judged, but from the confusion and mess of the state of the world. A place to stand as the world shakes and contracts and burns around it.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Master's degree

This master's degree work, and my work on feminism have really opened my eyes to how much a culture has to change- how many deeply held beliefs, languages and ways of doing things- have to change to create Zion.

To be and to live as God wants us to, and how long it takes to change
and how long it takes to carefully prepare a people to be a Zion people, especially while we are still struggling with attachment to the world.

Phillipians

I'd rather be with Christ
than in prison
but at least I can
write to you here

for the ability to serve God
I will rejoice

+ hope you will too

Sunday, October 13, 2019

I feel called to write

The prophet asked us to read D& C 25- advice specifically given to a woman, and verse 8 stood out to me "thy time shall be given to writing, and to learning much."

Since I'm finishing my master's in English this semester, I have been trying to figure out what is next.
In the back-to-school father's blessing, my husband gave to me this year there was a line in there about changing work or something. (I took note on the kids' blessings, but not on my own, silly me!)

So after going crazy all month of September, trying to figure out what to do next (and getting applications in) I decided to pray about my direction should be discussed during conference. Then the prophet asked us to read section 25.

I am trying to weave all these pieces together. What will the picture be?