2 pink lines

list

When I listen to conference I take notes (and do some doodling) but in my notes are certain items I star, these are items that are then put upon my "to do" list. This conference my list seems quite long.

I am to do the following:
1. Seek for personal revelations.
2. Buy 12 Book of Mormons and give out during the next year.
3. Give one to a business friend for Christmas
4. Give one to a friend from work.
5. Get CS Lewis's the Screw Tape Letters and read it.
6. Teach my boys to honor and reverence Sacrament meeting.
7. Be a Mother who Knows.
8. Express love to spouse, children, parents and siblings daily.
9. Write a few lines daily in journal to answer this question "Have I seen the hand of the Lord in my or my children's lives today?"
10. Search the scriptures with pen in hand.
11. Get another copy of "Preach my Gospel" and study it and use it for FHE.

this has been running through my head

I was showing my children some pictures of the lunar eclipse- as we couldn't see it here do to a very cloudy sky, and was telling them that the moon turning as blood was a sign that Jesus was coming.

Galen said "Jesus? as in Jesus Christ?"
"yes" I answered. Then he started to dance around singing "Jesus is coming" just as excited as he is when he finds out his cousins are coming.

"When is he coming?" he asked.

The Straw

Quite often we feel like camels, whose burden seems too much to bear. We complain of the weight and want it lifted off. Some of us lay down when it feels heavy and refuse to move another step. Other camels trust that the weight will not hurt them. It may be hard, but it is good practice for carrying other loads in the future.

However, if you keep with it, after a while you will bear that burden with ease. The proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back is not added when your back is week, but after it is stronger. And then more weight is added, which in turn makes us stronger- to which a point will eventually come in which we can bear all things, and our back was never broken.

However, for the camel that felt the weight and laid down in despair or refusal, his back was indeed broken by the heavier load, because he never allowed himself to be strengthened to bear it.

D & C 78:18 Ye cannot bear all thing now. (notice the now part) and know that The Lord said "I will lead you along."

Hi....long time, no see. Where have you been?

You wouldn't want to believe me if I told you. I have been...away. In my place has been a confused, ornery, dis harmonious....
It all started a week and a half ago, when my normal, calm, collected, patient, self was sent on vacation in a whirlwind of emotion spurred by one uttered phrase. "Not interested."

That was the answer I got when I asked for help from my husband, on what I assumed to be a family project. It brought back all the frustration I have had in the last 10 years trying to get him interested enough in anything other then video games and movies to do anything. (most days, anything at all).

It has been lonely, frustrating work trying to sort out the pile of rubbish I have collected in the last 10 years. But, fortunately I am into recycling and will see what can be made out of it.

sometimes it just hurts

Sometimes you just hurt. And when it finally comes to a head and you realize why you hurt it hurts even more.

So I am going to echo a few lyrics I found printed on another's blog today.

Performer: SONiA
Album:No Bomb is Smart
Song: "Won't Let Go"

don't let go
just hold on
keep your eye on the road
and your heart in a song
whatever happened is already gone
don't let go



Performer: Bill Staines
Album: First Million Miles
Song: 'Phoenix'

Oh, Lord, have mercy on this poor, poor heart.
Take it from the ashes
and teach it how to fly again.
Oh, Lord, have mercy on this poor, poor heart.

Ever waiting to fly again.....

Always a tree hugger

I have always been a tree hugger. I feel that trees literally connect the earth to the heavens. And by hugging the trees I feel as if I can join into that flow.

I live in the forest. I feel most alive, most at peace when I am in the forest. In many ways it is often the only time I have to quietly think and ponder and listen. I feel it is no accident that Joseph Smith kneeled in a grove of trees. Deep in the forest you are least likely to be interrupted, and most likely to hear, listen, ask and pray.

Christmas last year was really hard on me. My children snuck in and opened all their presents about a month early. The ornaments were all stomped and we had to skip Christmas dinner due the autistic issues we were facing that day. Physiologically, I was fried, I desperately needed to get out and find myself a Christmas. At noon I left the house at a dead run. I ran through the yard, I ran through the field and then into the forest. At this point I did not know the paths or the trees or even where I was going.

finally, when all was left far behind. I stopped and cried my frustrations out on a downed tree. I cried unto the Lord and begged for help. I looked up and there, about 15 feet in front of me were 2 pine trees that were shimmering, glowing. The weather had frosted the forest and sun was at just the right angle to make these trees shine. The Lord had provided me a Christmas tree.

All winter I walked in the forest every day. I learned the trees, I learned the trails, I learned the sounds, the footprints, the droppings, the tracks. I learned that I was heard, I learned that I could sing, I learned that I was not only one with nature in the forest, but could be one with the creator.

The forest is my home. The trees are my friends. I call them by name. And I am called by name and talked to while I am there. The forest is my communion place.

It calls to me. I try to answer. Will I get on my boots, my shoes, my coat, or my sunhat and step in through the grass to reach into heaven?