Hebrew 10:31

I fall into His hands

but I am not afraid
He has succored me
nurtured me
led me carefully
let me explore this world

I fall into His hands
He has caught me
brought me to His bosom
holds me safe

My heart stays with him
my heat and mind
to do His will
during my time here

He will catch me should I fall
I fall into His hands

every day
I fall

Last post- now in poem form

Holiness to the Lord

people made holy

arrayed on white

all sizes

all shapes

all colors

all ages

Holiness of Covenant Keepers

soft smiles

kind eyes

gentle voices

Holiness in Life

seeking peace

comfort

service

love

connection

recommitment

A break- calm in the storm

fortifying, strengthening

being renewed to walk through

rain, hail, flood, wind, and fire

bringing back others

gathering them to the safety of the fold

to become Israel

the covenant people of the Lord

to build Zion

Put on thy beautiful Garments

Yesterday, I took my GRE- a big standard graduate entrance school test. I ended up running late due to road destruction. It had all the typical failings of standardized tests including poor wording, unclear questions, and sentences constructed by monkeys. But for 4 hours it kept me busy. Afterward, my phone beeped reminding me that I forgot to turn in questions for my comp exam that is coming up next weekend. I emailed the teacher anyway and sent her the real questions, about midnight when I got home.

By then I had just enough time to have a sub and make it to the temple. The second I walked in I felt like I was home. I belonged there. Nothing else mattered. I am a beloved child of my heavenly parents and my worth is not changed by scores on multiple guess tests.

During the course of my time there I was able to watch beautiful people- covenant people, move and interact and smile. There is something about making and keeping those covenants that makes your beauty shine. That is how you stand up, dust the world off you and put on your beautiful garments, o daughters and sons of Zion.

I was safe there- not just about being judged, but from the confusion and mess of the state of the world. A place to stand as the world shakes and contracts and burns around it.

Master's degree

This master's degree work, and my work on feminism have really opened my eyes to how much a culture has to change- how many deeply held beliefs, languages and ways of doing things- have to change to create Zion.

To be and to live as God wants us to, and how long it takes to change
and how long it takes to carefully prepare a people to be a Zion people, especially while we are still struggling with attachment to the world.

Phillipians

I'd rather be with Christ
than in prison
but at least I can
write to you here

for the ability to serve God
I will rejoice

+ hope you will too

I feel called to write

The prophet asked us to read D& C 25- advice specifically given to a woman, and verse 8 stood out to me "thy time shall be given to writing, and to learning much."

Since I'm finishing my master's in English this semester, I have been trying to figure out what is next.
In the back-to-school father's blessing, my husband gave to me this year there was a line in there about changing work or something. (I took note on the kids' blessings, but not on my own, silly me!)

So after going crazy all month of September, trying to figure out what to do next (and getting applications in) I decided to pray about my direction should be discussed during conference. Then the prophet asked us to read section 25.

I am trying to weave all these pieces together. What will the picture be?

Best laid plans of mice and mothers

LDS temples usually close for about 2 weeks every year for maintenance. They like to keep it immaculate. Often these closing occur over the Christmas Break, or right after the New Year.

Guess what we forgot when planning our trip today?

So I am doing my karate graduation tomorrow- in the same town as our temple. So we thought we'd come and do a temple night and then do the graduation in the morning. We were slow getting out of town, managing kids and cars and all sorts of fun stuff. And then the closer we got to the city, the worse the traffic was (Normal at 5 pm), so we pulled over to eat, hoping the traffic would clear. We knew with that choice we would miss the 6 pm session, and decided we could do the 8 pm.

We find the hotel, check-in, get the kids situated and leave for the temple. The second we pulled on to the freeway entrance ramp everything came to an abrupt halt. there were flashing lights ahead and now some behind us- 3 lanes of backed up traffic. Had to be an accident. We pulled off the road twice to let tow trucks and firetrucks through. It took 30 minutes to get the traffic moving again. 8pm and we just cleared the congestion. So I guess we will see if we can just do initiatories. We pull into the temple parking lot and the gate up to the temple was closed. The lights are dimmed, but we could see a ladder in the entryway. Shoot! it's closed!

We didn't even think to check this trip against the dates for the closing. We both vaguely remembered the earlier closing dates this year. That does explain why heaven was in no rush to help us get there on time.

Sorry, Grandma Jeanne, Your work is going to have to wait 2 weeks:)

choose you this day

Corruption breeds corruption
evil is made right
left turns into day
and day turned into night

when evil is made right
all choices available: wrong
day turned into night
but we sing a happy song

All choices available: wrong
do not give a chance to think
we sing a happy song
signing into slavery with ink

do not give a chance to think
there's be a better way
signing into slavery with ink
doing what the advertisers say

there's a better way
a different path to forge
not what the advertisers say
staying out that deadly gorge

a different path to forge
a higher holier way
staying out the deadly gorge
listen to what the prophets say

a higher holier way
     corruption breeds corruption
listen to what the prophets say
choose your path this day


Creating another way
               another path
Creating another culture
               setting apart
but still within
             salt gives savor
            leaven that rises
            lifting the nation
            lighting the world

Acts 3

Acts 3

Silver and Gold
I have none
but infinite worth

joy to your hearts
salvation to your bones

walk
soar

Jesus has Risen
so you can too

I saw the change

your light poofed out
You became unlit
 golden curls became brown
smiles to frowns

You were so happy once
you knew who you were
you had a plan, a destiny
not many years ago

we worried
we fought
you gaming all day
straying away from what you knew
listening to the voices of disbelief
late into the nights

the temptress call of the lemmings
easier not to disagree
to take on the thinking of those around you

ultimately though
it was your choice not to believe
in the world of doubt and skepticism
being a cynic is hailed as wise

I pray for you
as I have night and day
with each breath
for the last year

I want grab you
never you let you go
sands of time slip faster for those that grasp them
so you would for me

so I invite
encourage
support

help you to be the best you can
but it is
  Ultimately
      your choice

John 21

Did the disciples just not get it?
The Savior taught, suffered, died, was resurrected and you go back to your nets?
Back to your old jobs
Was it fun while it lasted?

No wonder He said to Peter three times "Feed my sheep"

Did they not realize that their life would change permanently?

That Christ would change them forever?

Hey Dudes, the gig is not up yet. The nets are full- be fishers of men

Mary Came

John 20

Mary

She saw the angels
yet she did not know
where they had lain her Lord

She talked to a man
yet she did not see
who it was

until he called her name

She knew his voice
her shepherd
her master

but she couldn't hug him
            - yet

Go tell the others
was His command
as it is still to us today

Peace be unto you

Thomas

It was Thomas who wanted to be sure
the other disciples were not deceived
But he stayed with them
fasting and praying
worshiping

On the 8th day
his patience was rewarded

Come Thomas
   feel the nail prints in my palms
   reach your hand into my side
    and believe

Lack of belief and stupid decisions

Well, I finally got some insight to Republican beliefs. My son had his name withdrawn from the roles of the church. He says he doesn't believe that it is true and the action is nothing personal. He doesn't care what others believe about it. The full effects of his actions were not known to him before he did it. But he doesn't believe it, so it doesn't matter.

Reminds me of climate change deniers. Whether or not you believe is not the questions. The question is what is really happening? What consequences are your actions/inactions causing for the rest of humanity? Consequences don't go away because of your belief or disbelief.

Stupid kid, you found the one thing you thought you could rebel about with no consequences. All powerful mom cannot make these consequences go away with a few phone calls. They are yours to deal with. They shake the foundations of your eternity. You just made your easy road hard.

Olive Trees

AbundantWriter wrote this- and I asked her if I could put it on my blog.

In the garden of Gethsemane
ancient olive trees stood witness the night our Savior wept and prayed unto His Father. 
They did not sleep. 
They stood a silent vigil offering their energies to help him who had created them. 
branches quivered as they felt him take on the agony of all the world sins.  
An eternal and infinite sacrifice. 
They wept with him and cried with him as his drops of sweated blood fell to the ground.  
This God, this chooses Son of the Eternal Father. 
Who was the only one who could over this divine sacrifice. 

The Olive trees saw his disciples sleeping.  
witnessed the crowd of soldiers and leaders of the Church in Jerusalem come and take him
 like a criminal.  
This man, this God who had just taken on all their sins. 
Even in His weakness he cared and loved them.
He healed the servants cut off ear. 
He warned and forewarned his disciples of what was about to happen. 
 in their limited understanding they were overwhelmed.  
The Olive trees saw it all and cried.  
They told all the trees and the Earth wept.  
The earth wept so hard it shook. 

The Cross was lifted up with this innocent man. 
As he still showed his caring and love for others the earth listened in silent wonder to his last words. 
 As it heard “It is finished “ it shook even more and those at the cross knew, 
God had witnessed the work of His Only begotten Son and acknowledged it. 
I believe ancient Olive Trees were also witnesses as the angels rolled away 
the stone from the borrowed tomb.
 Trees witnessed the disciples running to see the empty tomb. 
 saw the joy in those that finally understood what the Savior has been teaching them. 
He had overcome death. 
He had overcome and so can we.

Trinity Church

Trinity Church
richly decorated
dark colors, elaborate gold
reminiscent of ancient churches in Europe
when the organ begins to play
loud, discordant
what effect are they trying to achieve
oppression in sin, all hope is lost?
dark wood, intricately carved
processional
     pilgrims in an unholy land
   robes of false priesthood
description of god as Female
    philosophy of man
    mingled with scriptures
    through the eyes of a lonely poet
Satan has little to fear
from churches as these
no truth, except what ideas survive in ancient litany

It was easier to feel the spirit in the bathroom
expelling all the contents of my bowels
than in the worship service

Pretty Much Unwitnessed

His most devoted disciples slept
while He bled from every pore
alone
mankind's burdens to bare
alone
will of the Father be done
alone
hinge point of human history
alone
with only an angel to attend

When you feel
alone
baring heavy burdens
alone
those around sleeping
peaceful innocence

Remember
you are not
alone
because He has been
alone
so He
alone
could succor you

He can see through your cracks
illuminate your heart
bind and heal
oil and balm

Life without web access?

The interesting thing about camping in national parks is that there is no cell signal. My oldest son lasted 3 days before thinking he would die from lack of internet. My next oldest lasted 4 days. Luckily they didn't all feel this way at the same time, or I might have had a mutiny on my hands.

It was funny though, that even though we were out in the wilderness, thanks to kindles ability to download and watch things later my kids still spend a lot of camping times with their faces glued to screens. I was spared any attempt to do that as my phone decided not to like the charger anymore, and the only thing I can do on my device without internet access is to take photos and play a word game.

We still saw awesome mountains, glaciers, volcanoes, moss-covered massive trees and sandy beaches.

But now we are on our way home.

Last night's campsite was not only fun to find- the "group" campsite that I reserved was not in the normal campground- with flushing toilets and access to water- no, it was a half mile up the road, with a latrine and no water access, except to a river- luckily we brought drinking water, and boiled the river water before using it to wash dishes. It actually ended up being nice and spacious,- with lots of privacy, while the normal campground had campers stacked as tightly as if it was San Fransico. It worked fine, but we decided to stay for only 1 night. And that mostly because I was too tired to go back out of the park and find a hotel. So we set up camp and cooked dinner, and then went and enjoyed the hot springs pools. I was really sore and the first access to hot water in days was too good to pass up, even at $11/head.

This morning we packed up. It takes us 2-3 hours to wake up, eat and break camp and get our van's 3 overhead carriers filled and attached. This morning I made pancakes. My boys, hoping to get back to internet access packed up their tent wet. I was patient and let the sun work while I made pancakes from my homemade mix that I had dragged over 3,000 miles to use. And I sweated by the time I was done packing up the tent. I was actually in full summer sun for the first time the whole trip! 2 weeks ago we were battling snow.

After we packed up we went to see the Hoh rainforest. Those trees aren't as impressive after hanging out in the redwoods, but it was still fun.

So now we are half way across Washington, heading east for the first time in over a week.

Oregon

Not too bad of a place, how can a place be too bad when in every small town there is at least one restaurant dedicated to pancakes?

And hotels have gardens?

And rest stops have homeless vets.

It seems obvious that vets should be taken care of by the powers that used them.

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What a Ride

What a ride. Including replacing a car top carrier and getting our tire light fixed.

2 nights camping in the middle of the world's tallest trees
and I am imagining never leaving the trees. So I will have to bring some home. Although Minnesota is not likely to have the ferns nor moss. If I plant a grove now in 3,000 years we can have such awesome trees in our back yard. But also, we left this morning.

And traveled up the Oregon coast.

Now we are halfway to tomorrow's campground. Staying in a nice little hole in the city hotel.

This Hotel- future flashbacks

This Hotel has some very iconic murals in its stairway. When I walk it, I have future flashbacks.

Post-apocalypse type event, we are walking and find the stairs way- the roof is ripped off, it is covered in snow. But then I know where we are because I recognize those murals. I also remember the stairway doesn't improve the shelter situation.

Cathedral Trees (2)

sending my roots
deep into living water
drawing up life
drinking deep- long and sure
Up I reach
tall and strong
green in the sunlight
swaying with the breeze
firm in the wind

Cathedral Trees

Today we made it to the Redwoods. They are majestic and awesome. We had to stop and hug some. And take pictures, those will come when I have home internet. Tonight we are in a quiet little town of Fortuna. This is so much more my pace than any city.  We are at a local restaurant, took a short stroll down the river walk and am now, feeling very tired, watching the kids swim while more laundry is done down the hall.

This morning we made it to a local ward. It felt good to be all the way across the country, but have it be the exact same church as at home. Different people to shake hands with, but it was still a small and struggling ward. Their YMs and Primary looked to be about as big as ours. Reminded me of what Nephi said about the saints being few in number- or about how we are the leaven/salt of the world and not the wheat. A little it rises/savors the whole loaf.

I think I will find some Redwood seedlings, I wonder if they will grow in Minnesota?

Review

Looking over my lack of trip posts, I missed all of SLC and Nevada.

Nothing there was too exciting. SLC consisted of rain, and an Aunt's Funeral in Provo- on a rainy afternoon. We did meet my favorite of Mike's cousins again- Cindy and had dinner with her before heading back through rain, sleet and hail right up until the point of the mountains (the high point between the SL and Provo Valleys) and then the sun came out. I am beginning to suspect that the rain is following us.

Reuben took an instant liking to Cindy- hugging her repeatedly. Cindy was just as charmed with Reuben. They might be a good choice to take our kids should Mike and I both disappear.

Saying goodbye to Mike's parents is always hard, only seeing them every 2 years or so. They are looking good. Have lost a lot of weight and are looking healthier all around. Their dog, Jake reminds us so of Sam-Wise. Perhaps Sam had some border collie in him. He is about 2 years old and easily excitable but has learned a decent amount of tricks.

When we headed west out of SLC. I expected to see more salt flats, but what I saw instead was water everywhere in the desert. Rain and signs that there had been lots of rain, which of course brings greenness. 

We crossed into Nevada quickly. The most interesting thing besides rain in Nevada was the layers of mountains, each with different lighting as our backdrop. It was like some Chinese landscape painting coming to life. At the end of the day, we pulled into Reno and found out hotel. The pool was heated, so I shivered outside the pool watching the little ones play. I finally called them out of there when the wet toddler got me too wet to stay warm.

Hard to believe that was just one day ago.

Claustaphobia

Screaming like a bat- too high to hear
heart thumps
no place to breathe
to move

I will die if I stay.
All of me votes
let's get out

cost, doesn't matter
plans be damned

I am gone from this land
concrete jungle
stacked as cordwood to the sky
people and building
cars
cars
cars
racing all around
everywhere there are cars

but no gas
no fuel

clogging every lane
every turn

white lines of matching tombstones
lines of matching houses
lines of cars'

flying like bats out of hell

California

We got sunshine today!

Once we were out of beautiful Serria Nevada Mountains, screaming down I-80, at least not in rain, and not quite as suicidal as that into SLC, but still crazy mountain turns at 5-6% grade at 65 mph.

We entered California at the National Forest- felt awesome, especially compared to Reno, where we spent the previous night. Of course, National Forests are just awesome places. But after we left the national forest, it soon became apparent why California needs national forests- everywhere else is city. I was also amazed by the 10 shimmering lanes of concrete stretching from the mountains to the coast, stuffed with cars, with delays the whole way.

I have never seen more cars. Zowzer!

Heading into San Francisco, was 12 lanes of shimmering concrete with lots of delays. It took 20 minutes to go 10 miles. And then google didn't even warn us there was a $6 toll to cross the bay bridge into San Fransico.

How would I describe San Fransico? We made it all the way across, to our hotel, 1 block from the ocean. Unfortunately, the houses were so tight there was barely room for humans to squeeze between them- forget the possibility of parking a 12 passenger van. Which the hotel promised free parking- but that only included cars. When I got into the hotel to check in, I watched a little car do a 3 point turn to get out of the parking ramp. And the halls were soo tight. I felt claustrophobic- not something I feel too often. So I canceled that reservation and we hightailed it like bats out of hell- in heavy traffic out off San Fransico- but we did cross the Goldengate bridge- but the city was so crowded that I couldn't imagine stopping at the visitor/tourist center to buy my van a sticker- hopefully I can find one online.

And we just went north, until there was actually a little space between cities.

Now a family of 10 without a reservation on Memorial Day weekend is not an easy thing to accommodate- luckily we finally found something at the 4th hotel we tried, at only triple the price I would normally pay. (My phone died so I was out that ability while it recharged enough to turn on).  Thanks to internet access, I have made some nice plans for tomorrow.

Need Sunshine

Help!
 I need sun
light to power
me
my solar batteries are running
low
my energy needs are high

at this rate, I should have been born
a wind or water turbine

but I am a sunflower
reaching up and towards
growing stronger every day

needing the rays of warmth
to bloom

wilted
battered
dropping my green leaves

waiting for your glow

Tuesday- more snow

Woke up this morning to 4-6" of the cold wet white stuff everywhere. And all along the freeway today. We had about 10 minutes where the sun broke through and then it would snow again. But finally, as we were on the final crazy descent down I-80 (at 75 MPH, at a downhill 45-degree angle, around curves, in standing water on the 4 lane freeway) into Salt Lake, it stopped and became dry about the time we hit the valley floor. When we arrived we brought in our rooftop carriers, some were retaining water and so were some of our sleeping bags. Even the better of the two carriers just couldn't compete with 3 days of rain and snow.

But now, I am up late at night, while everyone else is gently snoring because the hotel allowed me to use their laundry- not guest laundry, but the laundry where they do all their bedding and towels to dry my very soaked bedding. Yeah for awesome hotels!

Meanwhile, for everything that only got damp, they are stretched out over our two rooms. I expect the air will do a pretty job on those.

Monday- snow

So our summer vacation saw it's first stops today: Mount Rushmore!

It snowed. the higher in the hills we went, the more it snowed

When the mist cleared enough the melting snow made it look as if
George Washington had a bad head cold. The melting snow running down his face like snot and tears on a crying toddler.

We took photos, hehehe.

You can't even tell we were in front of Mount Rushmore.
it looks like any other mountain in the mist.

And now we are in the pool- with Clay doing cannon balls, I am happy this laptop is waterproof.

Somewhere in WY

Somewhere in Wyoming
 snowing at the end of May
We have all ten of us in our van
driving through the day

The toddler sits there crying
we can not find what he wants
we offer him some water
or even a change of pants

outside in the snow-covered green grass
some cows discretely graze
hey "look cows!" we say
and attract his gaze

he shuts up for several seconds
pretty soon we see a horse
"Look horsey"
he quiets and looks, of course

hey look, a truck
 some scrub brush
a coal train
 look for Batman.
There's a hush

What would Batman look like
among the hills and plains?
how would he carry out his duties
with his brawn and brain

he could help a stranded motorist
maybe change a tire
he could set up some cell signal
a boost in strength acquire

maybe he'd be the first on
the veterinary birthing scene
making sure every newborn calf
was warm and safe and clean

Standing over the hills
silhouette and cape
waving in the waning light

watching over the safety
of all in Wyoming
this and every night

Trip

Because I have it set up that I can post to this blog from my phone, it is going to have the record of our trip.

So today, after the Piano Recital for my daughter we headed out and are halfway across South Dakota. Tomorrow we will take a family summer vacation photo at Mount Rushmore-  while it is supposed to be snowing. Luckily we will most likely be out of the worst of the storm before it hits.

Tonight we had to lecture the kids that double beds are for 2 people. And that van benches can also hold several people.

Sigh- Think they will be used to sharing their personal space 2 weeks from now?

The Left Behind Award goes to . . .

So here we are loading the last items up for our trip and we find Roo's water bottle sitting there. Dad goes to bring it out to Roo in the car only to find out that he is not in the car. The kid was still in bed.

We are going to have to keep a special watch on that kid this trip. He has won the most likely to be left behind award.

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Old White Men

Old White Men

Old white men

With degrees Daddy bought them

Pretending they know something

Distrust all decisions

They never made themselves

They shun the poor

Because they don’t understand

They shun the “colored”

Because they don’t understand

They try to control women

In this land

Their aim

Make money

Stay in power

They don’t understand

Those things don’t matter

that

We are all children of the same God.

Older White Men

Their wives beside them

Called of God

Serve in His name

By His word

In the middle of the night

Awake receive and write

Revelation

Having trained themselves

From when they were young

To listen

A life of service

Navy suits

White suits

Ministering

One by one

Rich, poor, men, women, children

All colors under the Son

For they understand

We are all children of the same God.

Strength is for

Strength is for serving others
power is for serving others
ability is for serving others
to be great- you need to minister to other

ministering to others gives us strength
ministering to others grows our abilities
serving others makes us great

Mark 10:42-45

Mark 10:21

I would drop all and follow you
as long as I could take my family and doggies too
the young ones would come without hesitation
 teens would need a little more affirmation
sell all my stuff, happily, please
making relocating to Zion a breeze

Not your Acolyte

I don't want to be an acolyte
to the institutions formed by men
I don't want to be an acolyte
to follow their ideas, their footsteps
that's not who I am

There are higher, holier ways
I am pulled upwards by my heart
there are higher, holier ways
 I want to be as God art

To follow men will leave me earthbound
a place of limited vision
To follow God will stretch my sights
to heaven

and beyond
to comprehend all time, all things
to feel compassion and love

So don't expect me to follow you, man
your institutional rules do not bind me
So don't expect me to follow you, man
I will learn and take what is good

then follow my heart
I am not your acolyte
then follow my heart
reject what is not right

Mat 14:22-33

what is upon the waters?
a light coming towards us
a spirit? a sprite?

no, it is my Lord
waves lap his heels

Lord, if it be thou
bid me to come to thee
upon the water

Come

Only Jesus could tell me to walk on water
I can do it because he says

with my eyes fastened on him
I step out of my boat
I am walking to Christ

wave wet my knee
look down
     begin to fall
water  at my head
Help! Lord Save Me!

Immediately Jesus
Stretching his hand to me

Certain Women

I have come with oil
sweet and rich
tears to wash your feet
my heart is broken
hope is full
my debt through thee
is paid in full

1 Ne 18

Curious Workmanship

Balls and boats
our very lives
after the manner shown by God

pray oft
the Lord will
show you great things

workmanship
 exceedingly fine

Humble yourselves
Board the Boat

do not make merry or gloat
or pick on younger others

sore tempests await
untie your brother
or perish in the storm
of your own making

The Rock of Revelation

revealed to Peter
that Jesus,
AKA son of Joseph
a thing that came out of Galilee
the whom who broke the Sabbath day
      healing a withered hand
that thou, thou are the Christ

Whom do I say that thou art?
When I search my soul
Do I know
     Have I relied on
            Cried out to
                   Saved by
                         Refined by
Made to shine like thee

1 Ne 21

He has made my mouth
     a sharp sword
in the shadows of his hand
     He has hid me
made me a polished shaft
in His quiver
     He has hid me

and now
     says the Lord
who formed me from the womb
so I could be his servant

to bring Jacob again to Him
though Isreal be not gathered
I shall help this marvelous work

and I shall be glorious in the
     eyes of the Lord
my God shall be my strength

The size of your faith or the degree
of your knowledge is not the issue
it is the integrity that you demonstrate
towards the faith you do have
the truths you already know

Make bare your arms, Lord
Bless all nations
with the mighty work and wonder
thou has promised us
until thy covenants
shall fill the earth
like a sun when it rises
fills the sky with light

Free us from captivity, Lord
pull us out of darkness
     out of obscurity
gather us into lands
we shall tend

the abominable among the earth
shall fight with themselves
get drunk off their own blood
stumble and burn

Samaritan

Samaritan

The priest did not risk
touching a dead body
       make him unclean
 to serve in the temple this trip

the Levite- similar excuse
fear of getting involved
     dirty his hands
slow his work

But the Samaritan knew
felt  like to be
ignored and ostracized

 he had compassion
willing to stray
     from his schedule
to help the needy
to bind the wounds
place in an inn
     even give of his  money

To my dear 18 year old

Do you know how much I love you
how I put your work first
     let you triumph
   as I look on Proud

How I pray and hope and dream for you
How I want to carry you back to the fold
safe in the pen with me

How I wait for you to see the large picture
view eternity
and never forget
promises you made
before you came to earth, to me

6 things I believe

1. Christ is our redeemer
2. Men and women can be gods
3. Families are forever
4. Love is an action word
5. All tech is a two way sword
6. We can train for our missions
7. Cinnamon rolls are God's gift to mothers

Current Bush

I'm a current bush
reaching for the stars
becoming a tree
the goal for me

don't cut me down
don't hold me back
it hurts to be pruned
naked and exposed
without my branches
battered by the wind

but now I see berries
tender fruits
to savor

worthy of jelly and jams
perhaps being little
is what I am

stuff

don't work to receive
work to become
stuff; recognition, money
nice, but not necessary

focusing on Stuff
lose perspective
all we own
determine what we have
for the world in the eye of the beholder

Wholeness

Complete
"Thy faith has made thee whole"

without faith are we not then incomplete?
something un fullfilled, undone?

Do we not want to be complete
and with God one?

Gratitude
How close is it to faith?

3 strands of a braid
faith, gratitude, charity

charity would then be action on the faith and gratitude

what about hope? perhaps hope and gratitude are the same things, one looking forward, one backward

would that not breed love?
and from love the actions of charity

hole

I am not pro-abortion
no one is
I'm pro medical care
I believe a woman, her support network and her doctor
should figure out what is best
not a law, or governement
every situation is differnt
but they all leave
a hole in our heart
where a baby should be

Rethink

I had an abortion

Me, a Christian woman

Mother of 8

I love babies

I had to

Without it

I would still be carrying

A dead fetus inside

I would only be

Mother of 3

Ancestors

What beautiful people they are
staring at me from brown toned photos
taken when they were young
what amazing people they became
what lives they loved and lived

Be Still

Do you think Jesus wanted to sleep 

when he calmed the sea?

standing on deck

rain, wind beating my face

waves taller than me

Am I uncomfortable 

enough to wake him?

Although I may not have 

power over winds and waves

-yet-

I control the storms

inside me

still my soul

cry out in faith

not fear

Peace

Be Still

Zion

Come

let us build

a city to our God

Brick by Brick

Equity

Justice

Mercy

Compassion

pave roads

with gold of Charity

Together our focus:

preparing

the world for Christ

Gather all in

Redeem

the promise of Salvation

Put in the work

Study and pray

practice your architecture

Yourself

Your home

Your community

to build the city of God

Come

let us build

United

One

Angels

beautiful lights
peace of our happy dead
reach to touch my hand
they are ready, Am I?

Glitter

Plastic glitter- the kind used in schools
doesn't vacuum out of carpets
and is dangerous to ocean animals

Luckily, we don't need it

I see glittery leaves
as they flip front to back in the breeze

I see glittery frogs
as the light bounces off
their green speckled backs

on the waves of the lake
when the echos of sky get disturbed

in each
raindrop
dewdrop

eyes of a child

when you look at me
I see it in my heart
shining speckles of gold

John 8:2-11

Dear Woman,

I am not without sin
     Cannot cast a stone
nor can I condemn another
 for things I have done alone

I will not accuse thee
I'd rather sin no more
shed the weight, burden, pain
and into heaven soar

John 4:34

On John 4:34

I wonder how often someone told Jesus

You still need to eat

But do Gods eat?

Resurrected beings eat

Fish and honeycomb

Huck Finn thought watermelon

Was the perfect angels’ food

We can not live by bread alone

Our dual nature made known

Spirit and flesh, a soul to feed

Both bread and living water we need

Church Halls

Out of Class

walking down the halls at church

toddler attached to my finger

several little voices sing

"I am a child of God"

snatches of lessons

"Obeying God's laws bring us happiness"

"Oh Lord, My God, I am in awesome wonder"

Pictures of Christ hang on the wall

Talking to the women at the well

teaching in the temple

healing the blind

raising my spirits

walking in sacred halls

snatches of murmured prayers

I wish to sing too

"How Great Thou Art!"

Church with Kids

Church with Kids

Sometimes I can not reflect on

the bread and water

When the sacrament is passed

Hushing kids

Finding lost crayons

Keeping my brood quiet so

others can hear their thoughts

When the house is quiet

When the kids snooze softly in their beds

When I take out my scriptures

I remember Him

Born Again

Nicodemus

A change so drastic

It is called being born again

I take the water and the bread

Easier, more comfortable

To crawl back into your mother’s womb

She loves you as you are

I know who you can be

Into the water, I shall go

A promise made with God

To join the body of the saints

Care for each and every part

To remember

I am trying to be like him

In all my actions

And his spirit will be with me

With him I shall endure to the end

Sunday Morning

10:15 Sunday Morning

Through the water and the bread

I am forged anew

Living water

Bread of life

Gives my soul meaning

Purpose to my night

Wine

Water to wine

God changes

water to wine

Sinner to saint

gold from my dross

my broken heart

Forged anew

Fills my empty belly

Water and crusts of bread

Luke 4

On Luke 4

Is this not Joseph’s son?

Wonder and bewilderment

Is he not one of us?

How can one be so special?

Jesus answered with stories of special ones

The problem arises when we

do not believe he is special

That one can be different than others

But I believe

I have felt his difference

He has touched my heart

Made it burn

I believe not only in his specialness

But in mine

I can be like him

I can touch other’s hearts

I believe in everyone’s ability to be special

To become as he is

Because of Him

Witness of divine potentials

We, in embryo now

Become like our mother, our father

Is it then so special that God could walk among us?

Is Joseph’s son, the promised Messiah

Any harder than accepting

Our own divine spark

To treat other as Jesus taught

To believe that they are children of God too

Is that not why Jesus asked us to become like him by

Mourning with that that mourn

Comforting those that  stand in need of comfort

Roles he proclaimed for himself

And also for us