only 3 white dresses

little baby 

calm innocence stares out at me

as I snap her picture in an eyelet white dress

So new, so inspiring

her sweet spirit shines

8 years later in a white jumpsuit

covenanting with God through baptism

her sweet spirit has now been teamed with a personality of cuteness

I hear her singing "I'm trying to be like Jesus"

now I am holding her last white dress

lace tricot with puffy short sleeves

her sweet innocent eyes and playful smile are seen

in glimpses, visions, memories 

1 Nephi 17: 2-3

 Having just read 1 Nephi 17:2-3, I realize that even though the Book of Mormon is written from men's perspectives, these verses show Young Women's progress.

The daughters of Ishmael were probably all between the ages of 12 and 25 when they left their cushy home in Jerusalem. I bet they had never camped or journeyed much. They trusted and followed their father into the wilderness. They get married off to a set of brothers, not all of them thoughtful and patient, but young and impertinent as young males tend to be. We do not know how much was love and how much they just did as expected. But then they lose the one male they trusted thoroughly, their father and they "did mourn exceedingly" (v 16:35), now they get to rely on the young man they married for all their support and protection, and maybe their old father-in-law Lehi, who they or may not have much connection with. But they get through their mourning, and the next thing we know, not only are the traveling, but they are doing it well being pregnant and new mothers. 

That transition from murmuring to motherhood, from fragile femininity to strength to care for our children in any circumstance, is one we all must go through in life.  How great this transition is Nephi calls it a blessing (thinking the raw food diet was tough, when it was probably more healthy than they ate in Jerusalem). And then how this diet and daily activity level gave the women strength like the men.

I am sure the women found ways to do all the daily chores in the wilderness while traveling, and that alone helped quiet their murmuring, but so does the magic of holding your baby while he softly sleeps on your chest. That transition to motherhood, called "matrescence", is a powerful thing, involving much bio-psychology and physiology, and has a spiritual dimension that we only began to understand in hindsight.

It is no wonder Nephi doesn't talk much about it, as he couldn't, having not experienced it, and his wife, most likely left uneducated in reading and writing, was too busy taking care of the children and household, couldn't take time to write to us about her experience. Which is too bad, more women's voices are needed in the gospel. 

Names of Christ - Book of Revelations

 Revelations 7:

The Lion of Judah...the lamb that has been slain.... lamb with 7 eyes and 7 horns

I like the contrast of king of beasts and the sacrificial lamb, the power, the humility, all wrapped up the slain lamb standing up with his 7 horns and 7 eyes- or the representation of seeing all and being all powerful

Revelations on Revelations

 Naturally, 

 with the week's events, I had to go study up on the book of Revelations again. I started in chapter 11, and went backward and then forwards again chapters 8-11 are most interesting this week, and I learned a few things.

Although we read it nicely organized step-by-step, most of these events are concurrent. They are simultaneous but have to be written in the areas of discussion.  So we will have 1/3 of plants, animals, ocean life, and men die (chapters 8&9)- partly as a result of the war waging that leads to the siege of Jerusalem (chapter 11), and partly due to the stresses of industry age combined with actions those who love money above all else. 

The prophets stuck in Jerusalem during the siege are supposed to send plagues and destruction. Could you possibly imagine any of our apostles pouring out more misery on the earth? I think these plagues and destruction are already baked into global warming and warfare, but we all know how people hate the bearer of bad news. Their message will naturally be repentance, and turning towards God, which means stopping the hated and global destruction. 

Naturally, the leaders, those who sought power, are corrupted, and comparing them to Sodom and Gomorrah helps me see that is it highly possible they have marked the innocent of Palestinians for destruction because they don't care they are poor and brown-skinned. Honestly, I am not sure they wouldn't happily sacrifice their own people for their blood or money/power lust.

One of the few time frames actually given in Revelations is of the 3.5 years. Church lesson materials suggest this about that "Revelation 11:2 says that the Gentiles will “tread under foot” Jerusalem for forty-two months, which is three and one-half years. This has reference to a time of apostasy when the Lord’s work is symbolically trampled on. Verse 3 indicates that “two witnesses” will serve a special mission to the sacred city for 1,260 days—which is also three and one-half years. Symbolically, John saw that the ministry of the Lord’s servants balances out the time of apostasy, thus giving people an equal opportunity to choose between the Lord and those who oppose Him. Unfortunately, as this chapter records, many will not listen to those prophets."

Does this suggest the 3.5 years is symbolic? Literal? or both? My experience with the Lord suggest both, but I wouldn't hold the Lord to it, as he has promised that he will speed up these last days for the salvation of his saints ( and what I have seen this year, I can see why he needs to).

Anyways, it is safe to say that it is time to fasten our seat belt, and stand in holy places.

 In Babylon, we are captives

 to the system

to the culture

to whatever king thinks he's in power

We are called out of Babylon 

called out of the ruins yet to be

called to work outside the system

to determine what we'll be

we need to forge our own culture

building lives of truth and love

as in Heaven above

Ever feel like an abused dresser drawer?

 I like watching the furniture flippers on YouTube. They take a piece of abused, broken furniture, often headed to the dump,and  then, step by step, they restore it. Often to better than its original glory, now ready for a special place in its new home.

This process reminds me of how the Savoir works on us. Once we allow him to claim us as His, the work commences.

He cleans us, years of dirt, debris, stickiness.

He repairs us, every chipped corner, or broken slider. Until we work as he wants us to work.

 Sometimes this takes some scraping. Sometimes multiple applications of paint strippers, until we are left raw and exposed, wood down to it's grain. Now it is sanded smooth and clean, and something beautiful begins to emerge.

I get excited when the natural beauty of the wood comes through. And then it gets enhanced. Different stains are applied that bring out the natural beauty further. For us, I see those as the stains of humility, faith, charity and other god-like virtues.

Then it is sealed. More easily to defend itself against the ravages of life. 

I Will Hold You

 I will hold you

through the dark abyss of night

endless and  empty

cold, without light

I will hold you

as you make your way through

I will hold you

in confusion

in doubt

look unto me

anchor yourself in the waters 

of mine eyes

as the seas toss you about and attempt to capsize

I will hold 

until all the broken pieces

glued together with 

glimmering gold

your heart made whole

I will hold you

in the palms of my hands

in the hole in my side

but surest of all, in my wrists

I hold you

with every breath you take

step by step

as you struggle to find light

I hold you

in that flash of light

a quick understanding

of why you must

slog your way through

I hold you

in doubt

in confusion

the wave on the water is my gentle hand

that bird that sings that 

song who's note of hope

can lodge in your heart

I hold you

all your thousand pieces

scattered across the miles of the parched earth

I hold you as you are:

every broken

shredded

tired

burnt

wondering

 &  lost

soul

I hold you in the palms of my hands

outstretched to you

- still

- always

These hands that made this world- this universe

and all it has in it

These hands hold you